Dear Single Mum

 Duro Owodunni A mentor and Coach write on Shame and the Single Mum. Shame as a set beliefs crops up from events or things that have happened in the past or are presently happening. Single mums  generally tend to believe that they are hopeless in the face of their single parenting journey, This is closely connected to the rampant and persuasive stand of social status and culture that often puts a stigma or a name to their situation unnecessarily. The church system is guilty of this angle as well with single parents often classified as "sinners" who should be seen and not heard. Persons who have failed to follow the spiritual steps and precedents that was laid down by others before them. One Christian lady once told me that she felt blessed to have come from a home where everything turned out well for her. Her child hood years, her youth, her marriage etc all fell into one happy circle. I remember the shame that I felt during that discussion ,it was one of inadequacy and feeli...

  It is Trauma : Simple .(Duro Owodunni Dear Single Mum) Duro Owodunni, a Christian Mentor & Coach shares a simple insight into what may go on within the Single mum mind at any given time. Single Parenting is traumatic even though it may not follow the conventional definition of trauma that is often associated with something sudden , unexpected and unplanned .It may not be classified as an incident where life or serious injury/loss occurs, it may however be very overwhelming that at some point ones normal coping ability with everyday stress, comes out of the expected - acceptable balance. Trauma affects the “thinking” part of the brain causing actions that are spontaneous reactions as opposed to actions that follow a clear processing  path. This Phase of reacting to situations without careful thinking becomes frequent and regular such that there is soon a string of actions that are persistent , continuous and destructive to all concerned. Why ? The single mum's mind may be...